The Positive–Negative Asymmetry of the Brain
Why Your Brain Focuses on What’s Wrong
Your brain is not designed for happiness
Your brain is designed for survival.
For thousands of years, this creates a built-in asymmetry.
Negative weighs more than positive
Negative experiences have more impact than positive ones.
They feel stronger.
They last longer.
They get your attention faster.
One mistake can outweigh ten things that went well.
That’s not a flaw.
That’s how your brain is wired.
What science calls negativity bias, I explain as positive-negative asymmetry
This is why you focus on what’s wrong
You don’t do this on purpose.
But your brain keeps scanning for:
- what’s not working
- what could go wrong
- what needs to be fixed
So even when things go well, your attention goes somewhere else.
This is why you don’t always feel better, even when things go wel
You can have:
- progress
- good moments
- things going right
- goals being achieved
And still feel:
- frustrated
- behind
- not good enough
It's this ever-moving sign post, because your brain doesn’t stay with what’s working.
It moves on to the next problem.
This is why your patterns repeat
What you focus on shapes how you feel, and how you feel drives what you do.
For example:
Your horse doesn’t respond.
You think: “This isn’t working.”
That thought creates tension.
Because you feel tense, you push, overcorrect, or quit.
And that creates less progress.
Which confirms the thought: “See? It’s not working.”
And the pattern repeats.
The problem is not negativity
Negativity is not the enemy. You need it.
It helps you:
- detect problems
- be safe
- stay alive
Without it, your ancestors wouldn’t have survived, and you wouldn’t be here!
So it’s part of how we’ve evolved.
The real problem is imbalance
The problem is not that negative exists.
It only becomes a problem when it dominates:
- It gets more attention.
- More weight.
- More airtime.
And that creates imbalance.
Just like a horse has physical asymmetry, the human brain has mental asymmetry.
Most people give all airtime to the negative and no longer see the positive in things.
You need equal airtime
Not more positivity.
Not forced positive thinking.
But balance.
Where:
- negative is seen
- and positive is also seen
Where both get airtime.
That’s what creates clarity
This is what we do in STEREO Coaching.
We give both channels equal airtime: negative and positive.
This is not toxic positivity
Living in a “happily ever after” is not the goal.
This is not about ignoring what’s wrong, or pretending everything is fine.
And it’s not about agreeing with a situation or condoning things that are not okay.
It’s about seeing clearly: both what’s not working and what is.
It's about balance in the mind
When you start seeing both sides:
- what’s not working and what is working
- what's wrong and what's right
- what's bad and what's good
Something shifts.
You stop reacting and start creating more space.
And in that space you'll see more options.
This is what STEREO Coaching does
It helps you see both sides and create balance in your mind.
STEREO Coaching helps you see more clearly, so you can:
- recognize your patterns
- understand what creates your feelings
- and stop reacting automatically
Not by changing your situation, but by changing your focus.
When you chance your focus, you change how you experience the situation.
Then you're no longer at the mercy of the situation.
That doesn’t mean you have to accept the situation, or stay where you are.
It simply means you stop giving the situation the power to control how you feel.
What changes when you understand positive-negative asymmetry
Before
❌ You see the situation as an obstacle.
❌ You focus on what's wrong.
❌ You feel disempowered.
❌ You react automatically.
❌ You stay stuck in the same patterns.
❌ You make choices out of fear.
After
✔ You see the situation as an opportunity.
✔ You focus on what you can learn.
✔ You feel empowered, no matter what.
✔ You respond in an helpful, useful way.
✔ You move forward with growth and freedom.
✔ You make choices from desire.
Same situation. Different experience.
FAQ
Is positive-negative asymmetry normal?
Can it be fixed?
Do I have it?
4. What happens if I don’t address it?
5. Is positive-negative asymmetry the reason I hold myself back?
6. Is this the only reason people feel bad or struggle?
FREE
GUIDE
For riders, instructors, coaches, teachers, and anyone who want to feel better.
Discover what really creates how you feel, and how to change it without changing your situation.
ABOUT MARIJKE
Marijke has spent decades understanding why people stay stuck, and how to break free.
PRIVATE COACHING
For those who are ready to stop abandoning themselves and start living in alignment. It's a space to let go of old patterns and return to your true self.
Limited availability. Not for everyone.