Free Sheet

Why STEREO Coaching 

 

From Reactive You to Responsive You

It's not if.... it's when


It's not the question if you'll face obstacles, but when. 

Simple straight plan versus complex reality with obstacles representing life challenges and growth

In every situation, you have two options:

  • react automatically
  • or consciously choose your response

Most people react.

STEREO coaching helps you choose.

Does this sound like you?

❝I don't know what to do.❞ 

❝I don't have time.❞ 

❝It's too hard❞ 

❝It's not fair.❞ 

❝I feel stuck.❞ 

❝I should be further along.❞ 

❝It needs to be perfect.❞ 

❝I'm a procrastinator.❞ 

❝I'm not good enough.❞ 

You're not alone


Thousands of riders and instructors have shared these EXACT thoughts with me in coaching sessions, emails, and in my private groups (and I'd bet that these thoughts are familiar to millions of people.)

It's not your fault

The real reason you suffer is not because something has gone wrong or something is wrong with you. It's a hidden mechanism most people don't see.

Why you suffer


Imagine yourself scrolling through social media, receiving lots of loves, likes and positive comments....

But then there’s that ONE negative comment....

And suddenly, all your focus shifts to that one comment.

You keep thinking about it for days.

Why is that?

Illustration showing many positive thoughts and one negative thought dominating attention

The hidden force

Diagram showing the brain focusing more on one negative thought than multiple positive ones

Your brain is innocently working against you because it naturally focuses on the negative.

This positive–negative asymmetry in our brain is designed to protect you.

It's a survival mechanism: 

  • We all have a subconscious tendency to focus on the bad and on what's wrong.
  • We all have a bias for negativity.
  • Your brain is not broken. 

But in a modern world it's not always helpful or useful. 

Your brain on autopilot

A primitive brain in a modern world can not only ruin your day, but your dreams: 

  • It's determined to keep you in the comfort zone.
  • It has the power to make you quit on your goals.
  • It leads you to believe that it's impossible.
  • It convinces you that you've hit a dead end.
  • It's telling you to give up and go home. 

Whatever it tells you feels real and it feels true.

But it's just an invisible power that stands in the way of your results.

Illustration of a person digging in the wrong direction while missing success, symbolizing autopilot behavior

STEREO Coaching helps you become aware


STEREO Coaching helps you pause, observe, and choose instead of react, repeat, and reinforce the same pattern.

You can start down the path of balancing your brain with these simple steps:

1. Pause

You learn to pause, create space, and identify the situation.

2. Observe

You observe the thought you have about the situation and notice what your current think-feel-do pattern creates for you.

3. Choose

By being aware of the impact of your thought, you have the option explore alternatives and choose consciously.

What does STEREO stand for


STEREO Coaching is developed by Marijke de Jong, based on years of coaching riders, instructors, and professionals worldwide.

The STEREO Map shows you how your experience is created:

S timulus — what happens
T hought — what you think 
E motion — how you feel
R esponse — how you respond
E ffect — what you experience
O ptions — what else is possible 

Instead of getting stuck in reaction, you learn to move all the way to options.

The O is where you open up the power of choice:

  • You do not erase the negative.
  • You do not force positive thinking.
  • You learn to give equal airtime to other thoughts, meanings, and possibilities.

The goal is to see clearly, and when you see clearly, you can choose consciously.

STEREO Map worksheet showing Stimulus, Thought, Emotion, Response, Effect, and Options

❝We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”❞

Epictetus
(c. 50 – c. 135 AD)

âťťBetween stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.âťž

Victor E. Frankl
(1905 - 1997) 

From Reactive You to Responsive You

 
STEREO Coaching works by bringing awareness to the space between stimulus and response.

It helps you move from being reactive to becoming responsive.

Illustration showing how thinking patterns run on autopilot without awareness

The Reactive You

On autopilot

 

  • You're not aware of the space between stimulus and response. 
  • You react automatically most of the time.
  • This saves you a lot of time when it comes to good habits like brushing your teeth and driving to work.
  • But you also stay stuck in bad habits or cycles of perfectionism, procrastination, people pleasing, scrolling, Netflixing, overeating, overdrinking, overworking, or any other behavior that ist holding you back.
  • The effect is that we stay stuck.
  • We often see no way out, as if that's the only option.

The Responsive You

With awareness

 

  • You're aware of the space between stimulus and response. 
  • You choose how you want to respond.
  • You think on purpose and create empowering habits. 
  • You know how to break disempowering habits with your thinking.
  • The effect is that we move forward.
  • We often see opportunities to make the most out of this one life that we have.
STEREO Map showing choice between stimulus and response leading to a different effect

STEREO Coaching helps you become aware

People don’t struggle because of their situation.
They struggle because of how they see it.

It is not the situation.
It's your thought about the situation.

Two people can face the same situation and experience it completely different.
Because they think differently about it.

When you believe your thoughts without questioning them, they feel true.

STEREO Coaching helps you become aware of the imbalance and impact of your thoughts.

It’s not what happens that creates your experience.
It’s what you make it mean. 

Blue background with quote “It’s not the situation, it’s what you think about the situation” from STEREO Coaching
Sunlight breaking through clouds with text “Thoughts create your emotions” illustrating STEREO Coaching concept

This is how your experience is created:

  • your thoughts cause your emotions
  • your emotions drive your reactions
  • your reactions create your experience

If your thinking doesn't change,
your emotions and experience stays the same.

STEREO Coaching doesn’t remove the negative.
It helps you give equal airtime to other possibilities.

  • When you change what you think, you change how you feel.
  • When you change how you feel, you change what you do.
  • And when you change what you do, you change what you get.

It gives you the awareness and tools to make that change consciously.

Self-Mastery

The STEREO Map is the tool for awareness developed by Marijke de Jong.

It's the foundation we use in STEREO Coaching.

It's simple to understand and you can use it for self-coaching and self-mastery.

Applying it in real situations requires awareness and practice.

That's where our Self-Mastery Program can support you so you can see clearly and respond differently.

FAQ

The Yes / And Sheet

For riders, instructors, coaches, teachers, and anyone who find themselves overthinking, overdoing, or going in circles.

How to Feel Better guide showing a book about changing thoughts and emotions

Expand Your Thinking

Discover the 10 most common thoughts that keep most people stuck – and what is also true.

Not to change your thoughts,
but to balance and expand them.

See new options ⬇

ABOUT MARIJKE


STEREO Coaching is developed by Marijke de Jong. After decades of coaching riders, instructors, and professionals worldwide she knows how to help people break free from what keeps them stuck.

MORE ABOUT MARIJKE

PRIVATE COACHING


For those who are ready to stop abandoning themselves and start living in alignment. It's a space to let go of old patterns and return to your true self. Work directly with Marijke.

Limited availability. Not for everyone.

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